HAJI LANE. its one of the best place to slack i swear. the ambience is old skool, quiet. it looks as if u own the damm place. fuck. its my first time there and i swear it wont be the last. though the shops there sells clothes thats not to my taste, they're still nice. sheesha, u gotta go there. seen couple of ppl smoking sheesha there. im gonna take jeremy and ivy there soon enough before i know it. power 3,3 lah. lol.





you're the kind of mistake i dont wanna correct myself from.

the honesty in deceptions, are beautiful mistakes.

as ive mentioned, life's simplicity is at its highest difficulty. till now i've really start to ponder what life is after taiwanese actress xu wei lun's death. life, something we have to go through before we leave this world.
gone was the sunshine that once shone upon us, cause life was deemed letting the sunshine in without keeping the storm. to die is heaven's fate bestowed upon us, and fucked tragedies arrive.
no matter how we try to keep ourselves alive somehow the almighty one above wants us home with him. is this how life is meant to be led, to live and die as the wish of heaven. and no matter what the pretty face of this actress, will always stay in the memories of many. rip

okay so its late afternoon now, and im feeling fucked. down with the sickness. flu fever sore throat. what next. shld be staying put at home today again. there's nth to do anyway, listen to songs, and getting ignored by ivy at msn. boringggggg. why have msn when nobody even wants to talk, i wonder. anyways, heading to slp now. nighty nights.



if you'd call me today, i'll say that im fine, but i bet u cant tel my tone my voice its just a lie.

"Gifts And Curses"

Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, its all for you
and my worst pains are words I cannot say
still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you. Fight on for you...

i have sick patience these days, and im on the verge of breaking out and down. cause if there's anyone who's gonna stand in my way i wont apologize. this will outlast everything else that being taken for granted.

maligned, accused for the wrong influence. these are mine, without a shawdow of a doubt, what i've cast upon others.



and my worst pains are words i cannot say, still i will always fight on for you

sometimes people think they understand they understand you well enough? but in reality do they? they judge you for what you think, the way you think. and they conclude you with just a glance on your face. endless conjuncture they make, and they full stop it. please for fuck's sake if you think this piece of entry is about you, go think again. dont assume and assure yourself with bullshits that can lengthen your thoughts and end it just because you feel its about you. in life its not about intuition alone, its about affirmation, confrontation. and all not bullshits.

the simplicity of life, is at its highest difficulty. portray life at its best, its a brainstorm, a killing question.







Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,
everyday you're closer to me.

i'm so numb to bullshits that words dont prick me hard anymore. try harder =)
cause if its attention, you aint got it.




像空氣般不存在 再沒有痕跡的愛 你不在 當我需要你的愛 你不在

alright this song's been stuck in my head the whole day.

KC n Jojo - All my life

I will never find another luva sweeta than you,
Sweeta than you
And I will never find anutha luva more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brutha
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me

You're all that I ever known
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

so life lately, dishearted mood for god knows why. i havent been doing alot of stuffs but im feel simply tired. i dont know why, but i just do. anyways came back at abt 12 or so from town. today's life acced leonard to ann siang road to see some FP stuffs. and YES, FP'S opening a FLAGSHIP STORE baby !!!
prepare, get ready, anticipate for the OPENING. the shoes are really dope though.
anyaywas, life's gonna be better tmr, gonna pick ivy up frm sch, have dinner or smth.
i dont know why, but i had the sudden urge to buy FP's stuffs. maturing i guess. lol.
alright i'll end here before i type myself to death.

when you feel your world's coming down on you,
dont be afraid.
bring yourself together again pull yourself up,
tomorrow your day might not again fade to grey,
you might feel down and out today,
things tomorrow might not turn out the same way,
dont shun everyone, dont pull back,
continue on, like piecing the remaining pieces of an unfinished puzzle
and if you feel you have no one to rely on,
i cant promise i'll be there,
because im long lost,
lost where you seemed to have found yourself.
if i have to tell you,
it'll take forever,
if i have to love you,
it'll start just right here.
if i have to,
if i have to,
if only i can.

ever wondered when life truly begins? when you start on regretting on things you have done, or havent done. or when you starts being happy over something you have or havent done. thats when u'll realise life has truly begun. well, i have an assumption about life. when you feel your life is like a car with wings, that takes you above ground level, and when you start to dislocate from the grounds of the earth. thats why life has really begun. when you have a sudden thought of being on the verge of death, you begin to realize the missing pieces in your life. you begin to regret over things you have done, from killing an ant, to being someone against the wish of your loved ones. you grieve over the simplest things you have done without realizing you shouldnt have when you were still alive and kicking. picture yourself about to commit suicide, that will be the very moment these flashbacks appear, right from the happy times all the way to the saddening moments. life, it aint easy to really figure out the right path, but everytime you try, you're gonna be a step closer to what you're really looking for. though you never seem to carve out the finishing line, you'll tend to just turn back, and look upon the footsteps you have made. if you're contented with the steps, you'll begin to think the worthwhile of it. if you're not, you tend to regret on not making the proper footsteps and thinking the road's gonna be a long way ahead. picturing yourself before your soul leaves the body, what have you done right, or rather what have you done wrong?


life has indeed given me chances to grab before holding your hands, but would you be my life?

i aint gonna trust nobody in future no matter what. sometimes things like to repeat itself. i believed ive given too much trust to a stinkin bitch till i had to be taken for granted.
and to that bastard, u can jolly well rest assure i wont let you off. i'll fucking make sure u eat your words.

just got home not long after staying at jeremy's place. for 2 straight row. havent been in best of mood lately so didnt felt like staying put at home. im sick tired of many things seriously. sick and tired of satisfying people's needs. im not a fucking maid so please get things right. im not meant to be at people's beck and call. unless that person's really worth it. many things' been filling my mind lately. sometimes i just feel there's nowhere to run to, no one to turn to when you emotions all burst from your mind.
if every friend of yours needs your comfort at the same time, which friend would you turn to?
everything that happened lately has slowly becoming a silhouette of me. its following me whenever i go, so much so i cant even take a break off these thoughts. i just wanna put on a smile on my face again, a smile of authenticity. but i cant. maybe its a game heaven arranged to play with me. an obstacle, a test. something to strike me down hard, to wake me up. or maybe its just giving a hint for me to wake up and see who are really the ones with me, and realize the people beside me.

IVY ONG!! where are you?????!!!!!!!! go missing for so long!!!!



it takes a tree to make a thousand matches, but its takes only 1 match to burn a thousand trees

so life today. supposed to be wid the guys for the whole day, but wasnt in the best mood lately. accumulated moods frm the past 5 days, from tiring work hours to pissed off issues. so, didnt meet the guys till 9 plus. skipped the dinner and movie im still broke after the ktv session.
somehow i couldnt live without my aunt thats for sure. cause life is hell now without her finances.
met vic, acc her to workplace to cancel her work, den headed to queenstown to have dinner, which after we went to wait for the guys at crystabelle. and the ktv sessions started again.


somehow those words and emotions cant get out of me. abit emo though, but i really cant help it.
if im really judging a book by its cover, den why are people judging my friends, and telling me who i should mix with, who i shouldnt. talk abt unfairness, i think its more unfair to me. i do what my conscious tells me, and not what others say. thats something i can assure myself. am i or am i not, being unreasonable? i dont have expectations of other people, i just want to let them into my life, to understand me well enough before they can fucking judge me for who i am, and what i do. i dont need endless sense talking or nagging to make me wake up and do things the way people want me to. im not a follower, im someone to make, not to be broken. i've hidden my face behind the mask of a cheerful potrait long enough before i can even break down. i dont think its fair to throw my tantrum to those who dont deserve to see my fucked face. i dont need people to tell me to be more mature, to show respect to my elders, nor being a nobleman and buy food for my family, so on and so forth. its all bullshit. i may be outright stubborn, but i live the life i desire, and i contend myself. cause if there's anyone who's gonna tell me what kind of person i should be in future, please save it. dont tell me dont show me, cause its gonna backfire way before you'll realize it.

once again. thanks you people, who stood by me all these while, who tolerated my nonsense, my temper, my all sorts of behavior ive shown. and those who cant take it, i thank you people too. cause without you my life isnt any worst or deteriorating at all.

first and foremost. i have to thank you IVY. you're that 1 person who i've constantly confided in no matter what issues i have, no matter what temper i've thrown. u've always been there. yes i need u like water,like breath,like rain. i could really say you understand me the most, well enough to judge what kind of a person or a friend i really am.

secondly to chicken and peeps, to justin and peeps. you people have made me adapt to different kind of lifestyles i've never experienced, and different way of approaches no matter what circumstances. ive shared equal emotions and issues with you 2 separate groups. i dont think i've shown any bias to any either sides in terms of behavior and all, and i treat you guys all the same. And like water, like breath, like rain. you guys were always here whenever i needed you. and of course, like mercy from heaven's gates. its a rip off from the song lyrics, but it symbolizes the importance of you guys.


and to that 1 friend of mine, although we're like strangers now, you made me felt how important you once were, and how i've always been there for you. nevertheless, though you've gave me loads of advice, i think its time i take off from here. i've my own wings now to make my own choices, just like you do. we never once crossed each other's path, and will never do. though i still stick to my stand, i wish you good, and good-bye.



if we ever say we're never be together then we end it with goodbye, dont know what i'd do, i'm lost without you

sometimes when all else fails, you'd rather be a man in the iron mask. its simple, hide yr emotions, dont let it fill your face. you have nowhere to head to, no destination to reach, no one to rely on, thats when you realize the importance of independence. send yr emotion to surgery, to change the way you feel. but no, even surgery, its plastic. its fake. nothing can change it at all. put yr 2 feet on the ground again it seems like the ground's giving way once more to set you in back into your misery. you ponder how else would you feel better. you wonder what else would make you feel better. den you realise its the way the obstacle is set, not the way you go through it. you cant compromise with it, you just have to do what you think is right. life, it aint that easy to go through alone. along this road will you only find who really sticks with you, and go thru life with you. and im starting to see, the people in the iron masks.




this love has taken its toll on me. somewhere somehow i cant see

and so life today, went out wid my faggot cousin mingshen to tiong bahru to meet up wid godma to buy my watch, den headed home again, skated abit, went to find celeste to take my ciggs, den headed to town to meet cheryl. meet kahtien who came back frm malaysia, waited for bridget den we headed to raffles to wait for chick and viknesh to finish work, headed to holland to haf supper. here i am home. was reading archie comic, and ive realised how creative the artists for the comic has been. its been years since the comics were launched, and ive realised they never run out of creativity and failure to make me cheer up. maybe comics could really be a medicine for mood swings after all.
well, ive always realised words people say stay rather than the people themselves. words stay, people dont. and to that particular someone. not everything in my life is about you. so please, dont assume everything. cause ive enough of bullshits that can make my bad mood last practically my whole life span. ive seen enough and all. whether its lying or hiding, im sure i dont wanna play any hide and seek game. cause we're after all gonna be adults real soon and i dont think this kinda game suits us.



if life has no options about staying by your side, i'd rather be at the end of the road

when you expected answers, you get more questions. when you ask yourself why, you end up asking others why. when you try to contain your emotional thoughts, you flare up. whenever you try to do something right, it simply shoots u back on the foot.
well, i dont know why i cant really contain my thoughts anymore.
u cant stop people from doing what they want to do, the only thing you can do is to back out from people. like just fading scenes from failing memories, u begin to forget about everything. though confusion cuts thru halfway into your erasing process, you try harder once more, hoping to succeed.




you would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised, i just cant live a lie anymore

see life just like a simple case of jigsaw puzzle. 1 piece u miss out, it aint complete. in life there seems to be many things that make up a beautiful puzzle. lets say for example, friends. just like anyone else, i dont need friends who just come by and say " hi i missed u so much" and then they go missing for days weeks or even months. worst case scenario, years. its like crap when people say those words to comfort you for a bit. i dont mean to pin point at anyone, im sure anyone else feels this way. i choose my friends, and i thank god for having such friends. from ppl like justin and guys, all the way to chick and guys. some friends may look close to you in other people's eyes. but things dont resemble what they're being seen as. i hate it when people say i make use of others. its like " look who's talking now". real friends are just like diamonds, being a rare gem. or even better, like a piece out of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. u cant always find that particular piece everytime...
well ive began to lose faith in the word " best friend" already. pardon me because i cant contain my thoughts about it anymore. people only come to you when they need you. otherwise they chuck you aside, not even bothering to reply yr messages and all. tell me if you feel fucked about it. well i do.




love's a dream, but i just overslept when you appeared.

yes, im back to workkk againnnn~!!!
this time no more at ecco, but at camel active. the station beside ecco. LOL
no hard feelings wid my ex colleagues, we're stil friends in the end. but yea business is business.
my colleague's nice and all, so yea, its kinda great to be back at work...too bad this whole fair lasts till the 14, den i'm back to be jobless again...
i've got loads of stuffs i wanna buy. prbly get mum and dad a fred perry tee each from beach road or something to wear for new year. they wont bother abt the labels so yea, they wouldnt care if its from beach rd...
and yes, my wish list for '07
-s'pore stussy tees
-more levis
- 1 pair of patent leather sneakers
- 1 more pair of dunk sb's
- 1 BAPE cap
- 1 gucci hp strap.
- 1 ADIDAS WATCH. ( godma if you're seeing this i hope u get my hint =/ )

i'll add on if there's anymore things i want.

anyways, gtg for now, got work later on.




if a picture paints a thousand words, why cant a million words paint a picture of us both?

so life today, went to lunch wid jeremy and chick at alexandra, den went home, den headed to town to meet cheryl and bridget. dinner at BK, den went to zara and topshop to look around, den met kt, den went to find chick at raffles. headed to macs for supper and here i am, typing dis post..








i'll swim backwards, if you'd only turn back the hands of time

oh well finally the day i expected has come. i'm officially jobless once again after 8 days. no more days at work anymore. well, sales target low and all, dez and i had to get laid off. was kinda unfair but on the account that the sales was really fucking hell of low, and plus dez and i are kind of partners in crime, talking during work hours and all. so yea, i tink i deserved it too.
i longed expected this day to come. from the look from those ppl at ecco it seems dez and i dont seemed welcomed at all. bastards. but yea whatever it is, life goes on. there's goes half of the expected salary. so i guess i just have to cut down my shopping list. kinda feels weird now, the feeling of no sense of urgency to wake up in the morning to rush to work and all. hopefully i find one new job soon enough. broke broke broke. and after last day of work which was today, met kt and went to raffles to look for chick. den went to crystabelle. or whatever its spelled. some ktv lounge.. went yesterday and today..

and so yesterday's life. went to meet celeste to collect my ciggs, den went to meet up wid soon keong after he finished school. went to meet cheryl aft that and meet kt at town. skipped work cause heels was kinda painful. boring and lazy to go work also.

i guess there'll nvr be a chance for me to be lazy for work anymore.



i'd give up everything, before i i separate myself from you

TIME FOR A CHANGE.

i aint gonna let those bastards look down on us like that. those words are not nice to hear, but work is work we still have to do our job. we aint quitters. burn in hell suckers. i really hope those words are from the bottom of the heart, because ivy we've known each other for years your conscience will get the better of you. i dont wanna see us quarreling because of 1 shit job and sour things between us. job is job, friends is friends. if being concerned for a friend is a crime i'm willing to be arrested for your sake.
5 days down, 9 more to go. money money money



ivy im sorry for causing all those words to be said to u by them. if i knew things would turn out dis way i wouldnt have agreed to work here.



if loving you is a big mistake, would you be my right kind of wrong?