when you get on with life in future and you start working, there wouldnt be much of the word "friends" anymore. cause when you work, there's no friends there's only colleagues. thats wad i've learnt. friends are outside, friends aint there always and forever.

julian chan, be strong!!
2 weeks to go, u'll see the cash soon alright!!
no matter what obstacles you come across,
be independent! no quitting!!
dont be disappointed,
2 weeks only, prove to yrself you're not a quitter.
no matter what others say or do, do what your conscience tells you to!
try not to throw yr temper alright, bear bear bear.
u lose your cool now u wont gain back the cash,
2 weeks, 14 days more.


alright i sound like a psycho, but yes, be strong. i'll pulll it through!!!!




if i dont have a place, then be it. dignity isnt everything now right

dear disappointing life. please dont let me feel this way. i've been disappointed in a couple of things late, maybe because im too relient on spoon feeding. i've learnt to be independent. life has been disappointing at times these few days. but if not for the cash i wouldnt give a shit about working at all. so yea. please. i dont wanna lose anymore temper, i dont wanna lose someone i really cant live without just because of something small that stings my sight.





why do i feel this way when you're not around, is it really you i'm fond.

oh god. life the past few days has been hell of a tiring life. ive started work yes, cheer me on or boo me off. but ive got a job. yesterday was the first day at taka's event for the shoes thinggy. worked for some brand "ecco". so life yesterday, was much of a hell than today. we had to sort out the shoes and all, stack them on the pallets, so its called a set up or smth. den hell came when we got posted to isetan scotts. got ticked off by rachel that crazy shit woman. ivy's ex boss. nagged and nagged and nagged. on and on she went like some alarm clock went bonkers. so yea, felt like walking off on the spot but lucky we didnt, cause life today was much more of a breeze except for the sales target. was kinda low though. isetan had dis fucked private sales for the cardmembers only. and levis jeans went as low as 70 plus. fucking i wouldnt believe it either, but yea reality was there.

and so today. life was much better, because of michael. he was like "aiya u work here under me, im very chin cai one, i understand u i wont make yr life difficult one" and so life was really a breeze today, except for my feet. and ivy's feet as well. poor fella, got blisters all over her feet. dont worry i nvr blame u for the scolding yesterday alright, dont put it to heart. working life aint simple at all so yea, sometimes u just haf to bear alot of things for the sake of money. just got home not long, gonna bathe soon, prepare for tmr's work at 0930. Life. sometimes it just be a bitch for awhile and then you'll see the light after it.


and my fellas, justin kelwin sk jasmin except for huiting cause i see her almost everytime i work. will meet up wid u guys soon alright! miss u guys loads!!



if telling you falling for you is that simple, then there wouldnt be any obstacles i cant overcome.

XMAS eve. more pics to come =DDD


From left :celeste, me, min, tin, choo, bo, orh kee














double date. LOL.





























xmas eve, river boat ride =)

IM SO BORED. waiting for that white whore to call me on my cell. went drinking wid white whore, fat leggies, viknesh n bridget at my place. they suggested haw par villa at first, but i got freaked out frm that suggestion, i dont know why, but my balls shrank..
went out wid aunty helen to put flowers at grandma's grave, den went to thomson. shopped abit. bought couple of boxers. haha. den went straight to aunty alicia's place for xmas dinner. hell there was a lot of food. thats the main reason why i went. LOL . drink abit there, but drank more after that. den went home, den headed to meet white whore and the rest aft that. then the drinking. wanted to call ivy out yesterday but she couldnt go out cause she thoned 2 nights already.
IVY ONG can u please come out one of these days i really missed u alright!!! u chicken wings!!!
havent seen u for like days!! almost 1 week already u know. and no, i wont go to yr place. ah ong either kill me or kill you, or kill us both.
and so, this year's present, solely from cheryl the fat legs. thanks fatty!! really liked those presents yea. nvr get any other presents from other ppl, but yea im alr used to it. cause ppl say xmas presents are the things u usually want and u'll get them. but nahh, i dont get wad i want, so forget abt xmas presents its all crap.




而我对你的期待　被你一次次摔坏　已经碎成太多块　要怎么拼凑跟重来

okay so yesterday was xmas eve. followed chick to get some chocs for viknesh and victoria to give to their colleagues, den headed home to changed, den meet celeste at tiong bahru plaza. acc her to buy her presents, den we went to meet the rest of the fellas, justin sk kelwin huiting n her bf. so we took a train, headed to clarke quay. waited for leonard and weicong there. den headed to clarke quay's TCC to have dinner. after dinner we took the river boat to esplanade, took a couple of photos there, will upload later once huiting sends me the pics. and erm, stopped at esplanade, den we headed to marina, before heading home wid leonard and lest in cab. sorry guys had to ditch u guys for the movie !! will make up to u guys again next week or something alright =D
but the xmas mood, was boring. xmas every year seems to be boring...
oh yes, and so lest, im supposed to be honoured right u're my date this time around. u shld also be honoured. im your baby eh =DDD




she's all i want, just for me, underneath my xmas tee. i'll be waiting here,santa thats my only wish this year

okay so life today, went out wid celeste to ikea this afternoon, acc her to get some presents for her friends, xmas i guess. so we walked around and all, bumped into yiwen who was working at ikea. had a smoke wid both of them, before celeste and i both seperated from anchorpoint. met kt jeremy at town, ate BK before heading to the mt carmel church. oh god i hate churches. no offence against christianity but i just dislike going to church. its like the stories of god seems never ending, chapters after chapters. if not for accompanying kt to see tabs perform i can bet my ass i wouldnt step into the damm church...ate some western at the hawker centre opp the church, den headed to vivo to watch "Flyboys" before coming home. was an average movie, prbly cause i dont fancy such old school kind of enviroment...anyways cheryl joined us at the movie as well.




somethings are just better off unsaid

okayyy, so last 2 days i think i havent posted anything, so here's a post.
came back frm kt's place at paya lebar. went to ' play ' soccer wid my injured ankle. life sucks. old ailment came back again on the ankle...cause we didnt had any place in mind to go, den decided to go kt's place. went to play billiard there first, den headed to his place to change. dis afternoon went to acc celeste to the doc's. poor thing cough like hell. take care alright =D and no, i dont wish u to die, im not a meanie OKAY. and yes i know how to take care of myself even though the floor might be slippery :D so u better get more rest at home alright.
okay backk to life. yesterday went out wid ivy n peiwen to town to acc peiwen buy a pair of earings for joey's birthday, den went to slack around at cream, den went to macs for dinner, den ivy headed home, peiwen waited for her guy of the month. and i went to find chicky n gang. took a bus down to anchorage to collect the presents frm cynthia, den took a bus to my place nearby and changed a cab up to mount faber to look for kt n jeremy. sat around and slacked till jason came and picked us up. aunty jason. LOL. hehehe so CUTE~ tmd thats like lord of the gays.
alright enuff of gayness, and so, xmas is COMING. Fuckinggggg boreddddddd. Ivy's got her plans already, and i dont know wad other plans the others are having. definately NO town for me please, sucks to be sprayed everywhere...ok so life these 2 days. sucked big time...



sometimes u regret not giving someone your attention only when that person does the same to you

these few days

surrender black denims
















the birthday girls =D

IM AM SO BROKE. time for a complete change this time round.









this love broke even before we could reach forever, looks like our destination seems too far away now

cheryl x ivy Birthday bash 18/12/06

I'M FUCKING BROKE I WANNA GO ROB A BANK, ACCOMPLICE ANYONE????

Okayyyyy here's a post today.

its birthday bash for cheryl and ivy today. well, dec's really tough, cause of so many birthdays, loads of money spent, but i guess its for good causes?
hope u girls will enjoy today, although nth special. and err, sorry ah presents dis year kinda budget, everyone's kinda broke, but still, hope u'll like em alright girls =D



sometimes u feel a certain way, but it tend to conclude in another. u feel u're about to get the answers, only to have more questions piling on you. why this, why that, etc. but have you ever really thought, only you have the real answers to them? or have u ever thought that 1 little action causes everything to trigger? a word or sentence you say could make a certain someone happy, or even bring their world down on them? 1 wrong move you make opens up undesirable consequences, or 1 right step you've missed causes gravity to pull you down to reality? time and time again we often blame ourselves " shit man i shld have done this, shld haf done that" if we could predict our lives, den maybe life isnt a bitch anymore. and the stress we get from the aftermath, is part and parcel of life that god installed in humans when he created adam and eve. everything happens for a reason



i wanna love you but i dare not touch, i wanna hold you but my senses told me to stop

justin, choo, sk

justin, choo, sk!!! dont worry u guys !! i'll still go out wid u guys!! just that these 2 weeks or so i'm quite busy, well yea i got go out wid jeremy and the rest but, dont worry i still love you guys!! after ivy's birthday we'll go out k !! i know what u guys might be thinking, but i wont forget all that times that you guys have stood by me thru the past 5 months, and i owe u guys loads of favours too. thanks!! you guys stil got a place in my heart lah!!

Victoria's birthday bash, 16/12/06

so i havent been blogging much lately, so gonna post 1 today...yesterday's life,
went to celebrate vic's birthday wid chick and the fellas...went to zoo first to play the game. fuckinggg bored when me and chick went to search the questions the day before for 4 hours, only to be beaten down by ivy, viknesh and layhoon in 1 hr or so. supposedly to be finished at 330, but these 3 crazy fellas finished at 12 plus or 1...blardy hell, and so after that, lied to vic that i had to go home, could tell she was unhappy...so i got home, bathe and changed, took a cab to fetch jeremy and ivy, den went down to paragon's bakerzin to get the oreo cheesecake for vic's bday. den after that we headed to kster first, to sing and all that before chick, vic, layhoon and shaun came. surprise surprise we sang bday song, cut cake etc etc, sing and sing before heading home.
and so, life today i dont know, prbly getting ivy's present today. ivy ivy very hard to get yr present u know =/ sorry ah this year abit budget wont be getting u levis and dunks already. prbly when i get a stable job i'll get u a better present k...



and all the tears i've cried, no matter how i tried, will never bring you home to me...

okay so im back from the chalet. fucked up shit. knn pcb. pissed off. esp wid my aunty. no details, but its just fucked lah. now i've realised the true meaning of being bastards. and to my uncle's wife, watch yr back. cause i will make sure u pay dearly for what you've insulted about my friends.
i believe god is fair, for your character thats why god punished you with your twins in this state. yes im cruel, but u aint any better. fucking pissed, i need a few days to cool down. i really do. good nights.

TALK ABOUT 5 DAYS IN 2 WEEKS I'VE BEEN TO KSTER. goddamm its my 6TH DAY!!
IM GOT TO BE MAD. yes i think im going crazy. 14days i've locked down 8 days with KSTER.
so today, i went to meet ivy which peiwen came down to find us. den headed to taka to find chick, ah neh, and mushroom. den we walked around abit, before we all seperated our ways frm ivy and peiwen, who went home. so we went to kster for 4hrs here i am, back home. feeling kinda tired, esp after piggy-backing vic around lucky chinatown due to the floor of cockroaches on the floor and caused her to jump on me. anyways, yeah, den listened to abit of her problems, and yes, i had to suck the nectar off the flower to get her to return wid me back to the room =/
so yea, life's like this today. nights~

these people, my life.

those ive missed out, too bad. we'll take pics another time alright =)
oh yes and cheryl, sorry dont have y0ur pic lah. we'll take one and i'll post OKAY =D
















































i will be with you, till the seas all dry up and the rocks all decompose.

alright so its been days i havent posted anything. so yea today's the time. 2 days ago i was out wid vic to acc her buy joe's bday present, den met up wid chick and guys. TOMMY. HAHAHA. okay back to my activities. supposedly meeting cheryl, but met up wid chicks and guys. den watched a movie, dejavu. was quite a great movie, wid the great story lines. after acc chick to tanglin cause obviously he was worried for vic. unexpectedly she was out late, so we didnt really wait. so cheryl chick and i stayed on at tanglin halt till 5plus AM, den took a cab home.

and so yesterday. supposedly to be "stay home sunday" but unexpectedly kt called up my place and said he wanna come over. so yea he came over, for abt an hour plus den we took a cab down to pick chick and cynthia up. went to play billiards, den went to macs to haf dinner. macs again. 2 straight days ive been eating macs. past few weeks ive been eating loads of fast food. IM GONNA BE A FATTER ASS soon!!!! nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! and so we went to coffee club at paragon to eat cakes. den after sending cynthia to the bus stop the 3 of us went to kster. its my 5th time at kster in like 2 and a half weeks. yes i know its crazy, but life is boring yea.
No jobs, no love, no money. oh yes, 2 weeks time im gonna declare myself bankrupt already. vic,corrine,cheryl,ivy. happy birthday girls. im gonna go missing in action to save my pocket...




everyone knows how the heart can change, not to mention promises. knowing winter is still far away, my heart started snowing upon your expected departure

Okkayy so today was kinda hectic. ivy came my place at around 11 or so, den we slacked till around 12 plus before we went to meet justin and jasmin at tiong mrt. was heading to send thuy off at the airport. obviously there wasnt any bastards there to send her off except us and wei jie. oh well, up to ppl's conscience anyways, dont tink im in any position to say. and so, took a couple of pics at the airport, before sending her off. GOODBYE THUY, we'll miss you loads. and yea ivy and i went to kster after having lunch at the airport, sing and sing. frm new songs to old songs like george lam & sally yeh's "xuan zhe" and emil chau's "peng you" hilarious huh. and so we sang and sang. till 9pm we went to take the mrt to town, after not knowing where to go. went to meet up wid my 2 dearest cousins peiwen and joey, and another guy friend at coffee club. and so, we ordered drinks and chatted and chatted. hell, peiwen's guy fren footed the bill for us. wad generosity eh! rich kid i guess, gave them both a lift home too, too bad for me and ivy. supposedly to take a bus, but i suggested taking a cab, which cost us to wait for 45 mins. sorry ivy =( next time take bus okay.
and so, spend quite abit these few days, cant spend anymore alright, ivy and cheryl's bday coming. and corrine's is dis wed. hopefully aunty gives me more money. or else i can go to hell already. alright, watching bai fen bai now, ciaos




this love can repeat itself without any rehersals, because we're the ones acting it out without a script

so im home, rotting again. went to play table tennis wid viknesh earlier on, supposed to send my jedis to chick's place for cleaning but ended up forgetting to bring. sucks man seriously. before that went to granny's place. became loaded there. HAHA. so here i am, home. prbly gonna go out later. smsed ivy, she didnt reply. shucks. wad a day. geez.






i cant do without you like how coffee dont taste good with sugar.

life is a bore really sometimes, when you're in boredom land it seems u're being buried by quicksand, not being able to climb out of it. really. when its fun time it seems you're beginning to sink into the sand, and thats when the fun ends.

oh yes, rain's coming to s'pore. fuck the tickets are like soooo fuckin expensive. there's no way anyone would pay that kind of money. well, not me. unless im sellin away my supremes that's when im gonna watch the concert. goddamm no way it'll ever happen, cause if aunty finds out ive been splurging such money on shoes im gonna die soooo badly.
Prbly i would cough out cash for JIN SHA. dammmm 1 hot shit she is !!




i just wanna break you down so badly, well i trip over everything you say, i just wanna break you down so badly, in the worst way

at home right now. feeling super duper fuckin boredd. went to meet sk and justin today to go pray at the temple situated at bugis. think i had too much sin in me, so decided to go pray...denn came back home to rot, prbly meeting jenn later after her lessons. so yea, life today. a bore.



i can see us holding hands, walkin on the beach, our toes in the sand

i once heard someone say " why conform with other ? people buy expensive things you also buy." it suddenly came upon me that dope comes in all shapes and sizes, all abt individuality. like people started buying stuffs like bape, stussy and all. i mean its not really abt the hype isnt it? its more to the stuffs u really like. yes, the hype is there. but i still think buying what you really like will help alot instead of buying things that other people buy. yes i admit i do, but if its only the stuffs i really like, otherwise no thanks. its like honey attracting the bee, you're being the bee, and the clothes that others buy are the honey. dont get the point? monkey see,monkey do. isnt it. people would really get into all sorts of shits just to lay their hands on these stuffs. yes im one of them, but if only if i have the means. if i dont, den fuck it i'll get it another time. i mean life is like that. if you have it good for you, and if you dont, then too bad, cry your heart out. n also someone also mentioned it before " your dressing can be expensive, but at the end of the day only you know how much of money is left in your wallet or rather your bank account. u wear nice nice, your wallet got no money, for what ? " it suddenly dawned upon me when i found out i had only 4 bucks in my wallet today. sucks to be poor, but no choice, life is just unfair sometimes, ive got 3 birthdays coming up and if i dont start saving i'll prbly go into hiding this time around, otherwise, i'll have to sell one of my shoes again. oh god, please im begging u to give me a job. like making those companies call me up and calling me to work. im really really keen on making money =(




you've buried the heart i gave, and now im having a hard time finding it and putting it back in place

fucking raining today, my jedi's got fucked in the rain. guess i'll have to get another replacement soon for dis pair. sucks man the felt material. falt, felt. wadever its spelled.
went to meet jenn earlier on, supposedly to look for corrine present, didnt spot anything but went shopping instead at zara n topshop. den sent her to school, caught in the rain somehow frm the bustop in town till meridian there. den took a goddamn bus home.






you and i, we're like a horror movie, unexpecting climax and spine chilling.

ever had that eerie thought yourself being intoxicated and you passed out, and u wake up only to find yourself hanging from a helicopter and your head just inches away from a shark's mouth? or u wake up to find yourself hanging from a pile of needles, waiting to pierce your flesh? picture that. that close shave from death. so life isnt about second chances, its about grabbing the first and never letting it slip away. cause if does, second chances dont come easy





cause if its me you're gonna talk about behind, i'll break you down so badly you'd wished you never knew a person like me

you, would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised, i just cant live a lie anymore, i would rather hurt myself, then to ever make you cry, there's nothing left to say, but goodbye

sentosaaaaaaaaa

and so today i went sentosa as planned wid justin sk kelwin and siang wei to apply for job at the luge. took a bloody 1hr to get to the starting point of the luge. yes call us stupid like some bastards always like to criticise. was kinda hilarious though, wid sw keep sayin the wrong words. " eh where we going ah? soot ah? " lol. luge he said until soot. was like luffing our asses off. but whatever lah, ppl tend to say wrong things at times wad, so no harm done. denn when we finally reached the top, to my dismay. celeste was the bottom waiting for us. -_- den we had free tickets to sit the luge down to find her. so after we reached the bottom again we went to fill in the application forms, den went tanning. got quite a few hot girls there today. heh heh. so after tanning and stuffs we crossed vivo to the hawker centre opp, ate dinner, headed home. prbly gonna stay home the whole day tmr, cause wallet left wid 2 bucks. how fucked can a poor guy get. prbly if i go dig out some cash if not im prbly gonna stay put at home...life of poverty.sigh.






try and i try to get you off my mind, but it dont get no matter as each day goes by

When everything else fails maybe all you need is that someone to lift it up again

so yea i went according to plan, i went to acc ivy to study, wid sk as well. ivy was like stoned cause she nvr slp last night at her chalet. den went to strathmore cause dawson's seats got taken up.
yepp so slacked abit and sent ivy till the bus stop to take her bus. dennn went to marina wid sk to haf dinner, slacked abit, den came home. been gaying wid sk these few days. LOL. no choice the other 2 working, so we just haf to slack. oh yes, tmr im goin to apply for job at the luge. hopefully i get the job cause im like fuckin impatient waiting for bastards who told me " we will call you soon" to call me to work. if they dont wanna hire why not just fucking tel me in the face and not waste my time like goin all the way to causeway point to interview. waste of my goddamn time alright.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4i4Gwl_Ns0 -> for those who wanna watch sick torturing videos. the black sun or whatever it's called. nearly made me vomitted my mushroom swiss. fuck. thanks celeste =) that can really make me become skinnier by see the video after every meal.
its like one of the SAW trilogies. jap version.

been hearing air supply's Goodbye after viewing corrine's friendster. really suit my mood for the last few days. thanks celeste for that song as well. thanks "BABY". LOL. that really sent a chill down my spine.

okay so there's nth to write already, so i guess ill end here.





u would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised, i just cant live a lie anymore

想這樣望著妳到永久

oh gawwwwwwdddddddd. im fucking boredddd again in the morning. yes i know i shldnt whine but im sick of goin out everyday im sick of staying put at home everyday. i neeeddddd a jobbbbbbbbb. those bastard didnt call me.Those liars, cheats, con men. fuckkk ahhhh. cb.
alright so im gonna find a job real soon. no matter wad job it is. im gonna find one and work.
even better if there's a field where i can do well in. im not goin back to do waiter jobs thats for sure. im not picky its just that its boring. like seah street. yes i admit my attitude sucks but they suck too man, those stinking uniforms make ppl look like clowns. well prbly i admit i looked like one. spastic ppl really look clowns in them. so wads life gonna be today. meeting ivy today to acc her study. prbly meetin up sk today. cause blackboy n oldboy working these few days god knows whr they disappeared to...

愛情如果都是微笑　那多美好,天亮的太早　在偷一秒 

Straightjacket Feeling

so life today, went out wid sk n daryl to holland den headed to town. went to FOS to see if there's any nice stuffs, saw a energie tee, quite nice looking but nahh, not my cup of tea. den we headed far east to see if there's any nice stuffs to see..saw wilbert. kuku bird. saw Him and that SBTG hiphop wannabe guy and 1 more dog looking fella. sorry for such crude words but cant be helped i'm just prejudiced against them. den we went to far east to check out the bape store, large and headline. saw a pretty nice tee in headline, the V for vendetta tee. dope shiat. walked abit, den bumped into yakioo that dope guy in a CDG tee, metal savage and His superstar x Nbhd. Fucking dope sHit lah he. anyways den headed to bk to eat, den walked to cine to pop by and say hi to jenn. kinda depression mood lah she, so decided to pick her up after work. so i went to surrender/ambush to look around, nice place. den headed to carrefour in suntec to buy some socks wid sk cause daryl went home. denn slack for an hr at starbucks den headed home, changed and went down to town again to pick jenn up from work...chit chatted for awhile before sending her home den headed home. so here i am, gonna slp soon, eyes kinda droopy.




and all the things you've put me through, i'm holding on but letting go of you

Feels like rain

arrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i stil dont haf a job. sooo broke. fuckkkkk lahh why hasnt anyone of those bastards called me yet. i've got corrine, cheryl, and ivy's birthday come along. if i seriously dont get a job soon im gonna declare myself bankrupt and go missing on their birthdays...
okay so im not gonna be picky anymore. just gimme a fucking job and ill stop my whining.

oh well, guess today's gonna bored as well.




if life is so short, why dont you let me love you before we run out of time, if love is so strong, why wont we take this chance before our time is up.
像空氣般不存在 再沒有痕跡的愛 你不在 當我需要你的愛 你不在

and i'd give up forever to touch you.

okay its 3 plus in the morn now, i just got home n i feel im abt to drop dead on my bed pretty soon.. hella of a day today. went out wid vic earlier on dis afternoon to acc her shop before we met the rest for ktv session..met her at commonwealth, den took a bus 111 to town...went far east first cause she wanna shop for shorts, was quite a quick one cause we went to 1 shop and she found wad she wanted, den we headed off to macs to eat. after that we went to coffeebean to sit awhile cause vic's leg was injured frm the new shoe she was wearing..cause tell she in fuckin great pain cause she was kinda limping or so...den after that went to the arcade and played a couple of games there..girls can never play video games. cause they want you to let them win, but not wanting your hands to leave the joysticks. but i won anyways. so after that we headed off to paragon to meet up chick and jeremy. Took awhile to get there cause her leg was stil a hell lot of pain...and so we went kster after that till 2 plus and here i am writing dis post... okay im goddamm tired now, so i guess i'll take a shower den head to bed. nights. continue tmr...

Iris.

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

(break and solo)

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

there's never a right time, right time to say goodbye

just wrote finish that post for one of my dearest friend or darling. hands damm tiredddd. listenin to cao ge and zhuo wen xuan's liang san bo yu zhu li ye. yes its a great song i know. so life today.
went out to find jobs wid jian ying and ivan at tanjong pagar. was an agency thinggy. crap tHinggy but managed to apply for the admin and packing posts. den went to vivo to try our luck. toy'r'us was a bitch indeed, with a word if "NO" it settled our enquiry. suckass ppl they got there. den headed to kopitiam, which i dont get the fucking idea behind the borders that separated HALAL AND NON HALAL food. Like racism u get wad i mean? i tot we're meant to be multi racial man. like the chinese 1 side and the malay 1 side. wth man. cause ivan bought food frm the NON halal side and brought into the halal side the cleaners drove him away. wtf man. i wonder who the fuck came up wid those rules. anyways, den i headed home to take a bath, and went to pick ivy up frm nyp. OR rather she waited for me at yio chu kang mrt station cause i was late. den bumped into justin at tiong bahru mrt. saw him in tweeds. looked fuckin' awesome man. i wondered why i looked like shit in it. no i dont look like shit but the shoe made me looked like shit okay. anyways, test drive my jedi today. yea im quite feelin it. great pair too. missed my tiffs bucks and tweed low, hi, and my true blues though.

okay out of point. back to today's life. dennn ivy and i went to bistro again as usual, drink and ate abit of wedges. and that look ivy gave when i faked throwing tissue at her. SO CUTE. LOL. and so i started and continued making fun of her. den we went to find justin jasmin kelwin and huiting, which after that sent ivy home before i headed home and pooof, here i am writing this...so far today havent been thinking much about it, so hope those thoughts will go away, cause if its over it shld be over.



if i were to drink the poison like romeo did, would you die wid me like juliet did ?

choices

in life no doubt there are choices to make. sometimes we make the wildest choice, and den we tend to regret. we dont often think of the consequences, or the outcome. but in any case we choose our own paths, because no one else could decide for us our paths. no matter good or bad we still have to face the consequences isnt it, and that again, no one can bear for us. because we have to clean our own shits. prbly our shits are too smelly or smth no one else willing to clean. but den again, we reap wad we sow. if we dont take good care of the crops den we just have to eaten either wilted crops, if not drowned crops. so bear in mind, to walk every step carefully, because we can never turn back time to make another decision, nor can we change the paths anymore. any changes will definately cause hurt, to either ourselves, or others, or even both. no matter wad others say, we shld always follow our own hearts isnt it. cause if its harmful to ourselves there's no way we'd do it. life, it always gives us problems, as though heaven wants us to play a game. but after all, the ball is in our court, shouldnt we play the game well enough? i've been thru the darkest storm and the brightest sunshine, its all like a simple game of checkers. one wrong move, everything else falls apart. u think and u try to find a solution, but u end up filling yrself wid more and more questions that u are incapable of answering, and the problem ends up like a bottomless pit. so before u start the game, realise your potential and the players, as well as the oppponent, which is the problem. to that friend of mine i hope u will read this and i hope it'll help you in this period of time =DD


this goodbye i'll say to you, loving you i probably will, until the time is up i bleed my heart to you.

aftermath.

okay so i just woke up, hoping today i'll feel better. cause life seriously is boring. those bastards at Wingtai havent called. and im like rotting everyday and splurging everyday.
If they call, i can work immediately at least i got some cash later on. but kinda bored, working 5-6 days a week man. i think ill prbly run away frm that job after 1 month. haha.
blog's kinda dull, no pics. so ill prbly upload some later on. =DDD good day ~


maybe its game over, maybe its the time,to say goodbye, but if there's a chance i'd still give you my hand only if u reach out and grab it

a big thank you my friends

Okay, so if ive hurt anyone with the words in the boys, eg the word " pretty boy" im sorry okay.
the apology is sincere because i dont get the seriousness in it, but still im apologising anyways. cause i dont want it to affect our friendship. but that 1 thing wont change. and u guys know it. at least KT that cock eye knows it. so yea, no harm done. dis is it.



and to all my other friends. kt and peeps, yes things are getting better i admit, but only some don't. i may be getting better wid yall, but i wont desert my new friends, cause they're the ones who've been there for me thru these months. but still, u peeps got a place there's for sure.

justin sk kelwin huiting jasmin, u fella have indeed cleared the dark clouds for me when i have went thru the stormy weathers. though i'm in better terms wid kt and peeps, i wont forget you guys. i know its mushy goddamn it, i love y0u guys =D damm my hair is standing.

and yes, IVY. you've gone thru wid my everything. my brightest sunshine and my darkest storm.everything. i confided in you in almost everything. no matter what you were always there. and i still had the cheek to make you angry. 102nd sorry, and love you too =DDD

and cheryl. fat leggies. you've also heard me whine, and listened to me laugh. you're the next beside ivy already lah. haha u too

and kt, u fuckin gay fag. ill heed your advices dont worry man. u've been quite matured. for a gay shit. so yea, here's a thanks to you

and ji, yes we're getting better. every1 has to take a step back in order to make things better, so yea here's a thanks too.

and justin, black boy, thanks for all that joy u brought all these while, kelwin and sk, jasmin and huiting you all too =DDD

Jenn i didnt forget you too okay. so if ure seeing dis, here's a thanks to you to. you're like a wife, but no you're not a wife. remb what i told u okay =D million thanks to you too.


those ive missed out you guys too. rock yea!!

the world stopped revolving

sometimes its just hard to describe how you feel for another person, cause sometimes the feel just goes away. duh im abit flirtatious but i swore dis time its kinda for real. but i dont know why the thing just went away lately. there's just no more chemistry, and everything starts turning dull. yes i know things went quite well and nice, but suddenly the feel just went away. is it me or is it that there's just something missing...i mean yea she's nice, she's quite caring bla bla bla. but all of a sudden everything went blank.
prbly not meant to be afterall =)
but duh, life has to go on. so julian chan, wake up, haf fun !!

so story of my life today, went to collect my clothes that i left behind during the chalet, went to send my dunks to sk and justin. abit heart pain to part wid my true blue and tweeds, but had to sacrifice abit for the sake of my jedi. aiya in life its all abt give and take i guess. so yea den collected my jedi. damm great condition except for abit of dirt on the laces. i guess this shoe wont stay for long either, it'll prbly go just like my tiffs and bucks and tweeds low. the feel isnt alot. shucks man wads coming over me??

Anyways, been hearing the song say goodbye for the past 30mins.
Chris brown's Say goodbye


Look we gotta talk
Dang I know
I know it's just
It's just...
Some things I gotta get of my chest alright....
Yeahhhh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa...
Listen..

Baby come here and sit down, let's talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don't wanna see you cry
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so

[Hook]
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

Girl I know your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know

[Hook]
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I'm tryna say.
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it?

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh [4x]
Do you hear me crying?
Oh, oh, oh [4x]

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

let the world revolve around us

goooooooooooooddddie mornin'. fuckin 11 plus today. guess im gonna pack my room, den go viknesh place to collect my leftovers frm the chalet, den meet up wid sk and justin to give them the shoes. fuckin boring day indeed. waiting for those bastards at Wingtai to call me back regarding my job. and yAyyyy i got the song already. zhi qian ni de shou.

ivy's got no school today, prbly call her up later =D



let the world revolve around us both, and leave it all behind. just give me your hands, ill give you my all.

if i aint got you

god damm tired i just returned to my crib frm chinatown's kster. supposedly to find a job but the 4 of us got kinda bored, so yea went to kster to sing our lungs out. god damm the song "zhi qian ni de shou" is like stuck in my head. so the story of my life today : i went for the fuckin' interview wid the guys at causeway point at G2000 there. they had better not post me to places like G2000. cause i really cant get used to that goddamm formal clothes thinggy. prbly they'll hire me. LOL. over confident abit doesnt kill right...if they dont ill prbly take up the job selling some shit bags at chinatown. isnt that bad either...as long as its not at bugis or far places

tried to get to her today but hell she didnt pick up the fone, wonder where's she now.
doin quite well so far so good yea =D
well dear life please dont let me down im pinning my hopes and happiness in you.


in life you should try your very best, to backfire the people who despise you, to shut the trap of those who criticise you, and those who simply treat you like thrash. and that 1 person, i will never forget nor forget. because no matter how i change, the fact wont change. people may say you have changed for the better, but to me you'll always be in my anarchy list. your pretty lil boy can side u but goddamn lets wait and see =D

here i go, scream my lungs out trying to get to you, you are my only one, cause there's just no one, no one like you.

reality of hurting

i've never realised how hurting my words could get until i realize how im about to lose someone i really treasure, so i guess its time for 180 deg change i guess. ive never realised how mean and dominant i could get when i flare up. prbly its something very difficult to change, but i'd give it a shot and try to correct myself. i could really forgive and forget abt the quarrels ive had with chick jeremy and kt, i mean it takes 2 hands to clap so its fair that i too ask for forgiveness. other than these 3 buddies i dont think there's any chances of regaining friendship when that friend doesnt even regard you as one. sometimes no matter how hard you try you just cant get things back in place, so might as well forget it.




These 5 letters i read in your identity, these 5 words i'll be there for you

28/nov

WAHHHEEEE. i finally did what my conscience told me to. and thats to buy the chocs and send to ivy's place. was kinda hilarious though, justin acted as a staff of ROYCE the choc shop. ivy guessed it was me, thats kinda boring. but at least i manage to make up for the hurt of those mean words i said to her. poor girl, still coughing. get well soon alright =D shucks man ivy's mom knows abt the i-made-ivy-angry thing. prbly her dad's gonna know too. LOL . anyways, 101 of the word "sorry" i wrote in the card, even though last min i managed to write and complete. 101 sorries is definately not enough, but i guess ivy shld be cooled down by now...

met HER when i was wid jennie last night. prbly gorgeous if u ask me. and the HER isnt ivy lah.
was kinda cute though the atmosphere, couple of mins spent only cause she had wedding dinner after that. oh shucks i actually saw the email she sent me only today when she sent DAYS AGO when she was in beijing. now she's back anyways.

and yes, the five letters of her name.